General Witticisms
"Oh, remember that song I told you about that I couldn't remember but then I did? I remembered it wrong! Wrong song entirely!"
--Okay, I'm confused :P
"Ya know, I have no sense of November....I keep forgetting the date."
--I hope she knows it's December now!
"Yeah, cause that would really suck if I took a boat to avoid death and died anyway!"
--Contemplating whether to take a boat or a plane to Europe someday
"It's fun living inside this head!"
--Isn't it a little crowded in there with all those voices, though?
"See, I am providing the only snippets of joy in an otherwise flush-worthy year."
--2001: A Shitty Odyssey
"I'm cursed with brilliance!"
--She's psychic--she can sense what others will say before they say it...now, if only she could keep that in mind for when SHE talks!
"People should be my friend because I can give them cool stuff."
--Right now, I can't even remember the context of this one...
"Lots of people want to give me money. I just have to say 'yes' to it."
--Credit card companies LOVE this girl!
"It is my mission to single-handedly save the economy, one purchase at a time."
--Keeping the US economy from perishing following September 11
"I used to have a soap opera life. Now, my life is just a bad episode of ER."
--Musings on her recent appendectomy incident
"I leap from topic to topic with frightening ease and fluidity."
--A glimpse at the inner workings of a genius
"Hey, you appreciate my weirdness...so I'm running with it. A person with this much wit needs an audience."
--Yet another reason for the existance of this page
"It's Be Nice to Your Kathy Day!"
--After one of her very few mistakes in her legendary triumphant mini-golf game
"New policy-don't shop and tell ;-)
It's between me and my merchandise!"
--Pleading the 5th on her recent Ebay purchases (captioned by Kathy herself)
"Crown Books--those are my kinda people. Borders Books--Borders is a snobby bookstore. You walk in there and it's like woah, I shouldn't even be breathing on these books."
--Why she can't buy romance novels at Borders
"No, I said "that's my kind of people" or "those are my kinda people"...something like that...trust me, I know myself."
--Sor-RY! *cat hiss* Re: above quote
"At least I'm original in my insanity!"
--NOW we know where that brain power is going!
"He is such a frucking pick!"
--This was supposed to be "fucking prick"...oh well...
"Ya know, I bet John Wayne got free drinks everywhere he went."
--This one was an instant keeper...or, as Andy said, "Truly a Kathy observation."
"I need focus! Maybe I should get one of those fountains and some incense to harness my chi and tap into that inner Shakespeare."
--The struggling writer's mind
"That turd cursed me out of erotic dreams of Jon?! It's not fair I tell you!"
--Oh, the trials and tribulations of teachers stressing while dealing with student
problems...
"New catch phrase for Sprite: 'Sprite--image is nothing, but a good erotic dream ain't bad.' ;)"
--Re: our theory that Sprite gives you *ahem* "interesting" dreams when you drink it right before you go to bed
"I need to gas up Kiwi and rob the bank before we pick you up."
--In other words, fill up the car and get some cash before our outing...for those of you who
are unschooled in Kathy-ese at this point
"If I had said maybe "I had a momentary brain lapse" or "was living up to dumb blonde", that could be a quote. But "maybe I was being stupid"? Nah, doesn't have a ring to it. Tina will never allow it up."
--Exemplifying how selective we are when considering potential quotes
"I am all sunshine and delightfulness!"
--Oh-kay...
"Hey, why should i conform? I like to say entertaining things...."
--Why she creates a need for this page to be updated!
More quotes will be perpetually added as they are created! Keep yourself posted!
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