There are some who speak one moment before they think. --Jean de La Bruyere And then...in an Instant Messenger conversation long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away... beatlegirl: i swear i'm going to start a section of my website with your quotes Kathy: you should! I'd love to go there and see my wit and wisdom paid homage to ;-) And so, from these humble beginnings, we now have... Snippets of Joy: The Wit and Wisdom of Kathy aka...Kathy's Notorious Quotes Yes, here it is--the introduction of Snippets of Joy 2002, the latest musings from Kathy Becknek on every topic under the sun. To introduce you to her mindset, here's her "philosophy on life": "It's hard being me. I have so many things that I want to do. But I am limited by the constraints of time." Choose a sub-section of "snippets of joy": [Recent Offerings of Wisdom]  [AOL Instant Messenger/Email Gems] [Giving blondes a bad name...]  [Kathy the Entertainment/Celebrity Critic]  [General Witticisms] [Honorary Quotes from Friends and Famous Folk]  [*2001 ARCHIVE*] Recent Offerings of Wisdom "Tra-la-la, we're friendly aliens!" --Why couldn't the aliens in Signs be a bit more cooperative? "Picture this: scenic Ireland in the background (hills, greenery, water), a fucked up rainbow, and George Clooney at the end of the rainbow with the caption: who needs a pot of gold when you can have George Clooney?!" --There's a reason she only does web graphics design part-time... "Eeek! The blueberries are intermingling with the icing on the chocolate cake!" --Don't mix two desserts together anymore "My mom is like the Crocodile Hunter if he chased mosquitos." --Another wildlife adventure at Kathy's house "I haven't been burning any candles of late. Maybe that messed up my aura and let the evil germs sneak in." --After a bout with bronchitis AOL Instant Messenger/Email Gems "I'm sick of fucking dealers! All they do is play games!" --Not inherently funny...but she was talking about car dealers; I thought she was talking about casino dealers "Oh my GOD! Chipmunk UB40!" --Re: the fucked-over Winamp player on her laptop playing music at hyperspeed "I have the writer's version of attention deficit disorder." --Why she can't complete what she starts Giving blondes a bad name... None as of yet... Kathy the Entertainment/Celebrity Critic "'Dionne Warwick Faces Pot Charge'...Didn't her psychic friends warn her this would happen?!" --Commenting on the day's news "Shit! First Goose and now this! I can't take it! He just keeps dying on me!" --Re: Anthony Edwards' final ER episode "His pepometer musta been off the scale--akin to Jon's spunkometer." --Re: Paul McCartney having a lot of pep at his concerts "Like I'd want to live vicariously through my underwear! If I'm sending anything to them, it's me in a box." --Re: Ben and Matt receiving panties in the mail from female fans "How badly do you want Ben and/or Matt? Would you be willing to undergo a colonic for them?!...The rewards would be far more worthwhile than empty calories." --Re: our sick version of a 'what would you do for a Klondike bar?' conversation "An unethical tatooist would do that!" --In a conversation about Ben Affleck getting wicked drunk and going for a tattoo "Could you imagine little Damons??" --How adorable Matt Damon's children will be "Okay--if you see someone famous, tell me and I'll hit the brakes. If you see Buenas get-out-of-here, tell me and I'll hit the gas!" --While scoping out a River Forest movie filming location "Why would I not want a poster of my man running?!" --Re: Bourne Identity poster "Hell, if we can be deemed hussy-like just by voicing our celebrity desires, I would have reached that status long ago by declaring I'd do Matty in a second!" --I think that one just says it all "Why does he do these gay movies?! He's wasting his heterosexual talent!" --Re: one of Matt Damon's new movies General Witticisms "Good Morning Kandahar!" --Listening to a Middle Eastern radio station while programming the radio on her new car "Au revoir, mon pear." --Bidding adieu to some garbage in the kitchen "My high point for the year was making out with Antoine at Excalibur! It all went downhill from there!" --2001 officially sucked after her wild night on the town (see the archive) We're "Becknek's 5" or something. We're on a vigilante revenge mission and a search and rescue!" --Determined to avenge Dorothy's stolen van a la Ocean's 11 "It came to me in driblets of joy!" --How her extremely creative Ocean's 11 Christmas card came about "The Chinchilla as...The Chinchillinator!" --Designing a movie career for my brother's pet "I'm being virtually burned at the stake!!!!" --Re: how terrible 2001 was "We are non-conformist ducks, and Matt and Ben hopefully are too!" --This is just what happens when someone tells her to get her ducks in a row "Oh, I'm all holy now. I actually went to confession today O:-) I must be pious from this point forward." --RIIIIIIIIGHT... "Sierra Mist doesn't have the sexy-dream-inducing ingredient!" --Further proof to our theory that only drinking Sprite before bed leads to erotic dreams Honorary Quotes from Friends and Famous Folk "MUTINY OF THE KEYBOARD!!!" --Tim, as Kathy performed a coup d'etat of the PC "Hi. I'm Mr. Bee. I'm speaking to you because you've made the choice to kill me. Why? I'm cute and I make you honey!" --Mr. Bee on this Hallmark e-card "To those men who've broke our hearts before...we hope you close your nuts in the door." --From Dorothy...I think the quote says it all... "My baby is aging! we should put him in a cryo-something-or-other and preserve his beauty and grace until I catch up to him and we can unfreeze that ass, although he's so hot they might have to refreeze him a couple of times... Demolition Man meets View Askew minus Stallone!" --From Cassie...re: Jason Lee's birthday "So whoever is smoking that stuff I can smell, I am going to bust ya!" --Paul McCartney, at his concert re: the NYPD making him an honorary detective (or, as Kathy so aptly captioned this one, "Well, isn't he the "pot" calling the kettle black...") "I'm just happy if I can get my apartment halfway furnished. It is beyond my ability to worry about the trailer." --Matt Damon, re: his on-set trailer More quotes will be perpetually added as they are created! Keep yourself posted! Copyright © Tina Kukla, 1996-2006.